In the last year or so I’ve talked a lot about joy.  Incorporating joy and living a joyous life became my mantra.  It’s a very important thing for me.  I’ve talked a great deal about how my life has changed with my health.  It is a difficult thing to deal with on a daily basis and I refuse to let this shit define me.  So, yes I choose joy. 

There is never joy in every moment for anyone.  I think everyone knows that.  I’ve been asked how I can be so happy and joyous all the time.  I’m not.  I choose to be joyous.  Sometimes even for me choosing joy is a minute by minute, hour by hour or day by day thing.  Sometimes I don’t want to choose joy.  I just want to give in and be sad.  I’m human and I do have my times where I just need to cry and vent.  I just have to pay attention to where I am allowing my sadness to take me.  A good cry is very cathartic.  For me it’s a release that will take a lot of weight off me. 

There are times where I feel weighed down by choices or lack of choices.  I have a tendency to ask “Why?” I am the kind of person since my accident and illness that understanding things is very hard.  There are many things I forget or can’t figure out on my own.  I find that asking “why” has become my source of input for things that my brain can’t input.  It is also a part of my inquisitiveness. I’ve always been a very curious person and love to learn what I can.  It gives me a sense of connection. 

Those times that there is no obvious “why” for me in a situation is stressful though.  If something has pierced into my life that I don’t understand but it’s on the negative spectrum it does weigh on me.  Those are the days that I need to complete a re-center.  I need to get my balance back in my soul and emotions.  My re-centering typically involves releasing fears, hurt or misunderstandings. Knowing my path that I am on is an amazing driving factor to help me while I am on my pause. 

One thing I say often is “Five minutes at a time”.  I had a physician tell me that once and I’ve held on to that all of my adult life.  It is a saying I share at the end of my streams.  It’s an important message.  A very important message to keep you on the path of your journey.  If you are having a moment that has caused you pause, lack of joy or simply sadness, I get it.  To myself, I say “Five minutes at a time and you’ve made it five, which gives you five more minutes to continue to work on it.”  If I am honoring my pain five minutes at a time it lessens the feeling of “it will never stop.”  

There is still a journey for me to stay on the path for joy.  Working through that pain or lack of joy knowing I need back on my path does help give me peace.  It is difficult but I won’t let my own negativity affect my positivity.  So, yes I choose joy.