When I think about my life in its current state, I think about how I used to look at my life. I used to be so afraid to be thankful for something because I didn’t feel I deserved it. I felt like having something nice put me on the precipice of something bad. I was not able to be thankful for the good and the bad. I was afraid of the bad…ANYTHING BAD.

I think living a life full of guilt for whatever I had done growing up may have played a part in that. I’m sure many of you can understand that, that word…disappointment. That is such a resonating word. It’s life changing really. Whether it’s coming from a family member, teacher or even an adult you just occasionally interact with – it stings. That word can shape your life forever. If you are a disappointment, you don’t deserve things. Right?

Wrong.

Learning how to be thankful for the bad things as well as the good things took a long time and a lot of faith. Faith in myself mostly but also faith that I wasn’t going to hell. Truthfully, I thought bad things sent you to hell and you don’t deserve good things. Try getting over that big miscalculation in loving yourself. If you are still there – get out. Stop what you are doing and realize this: You were born with no knowledge of anything. You were taught things and one of those things may have been that when you do wrong you deserve a negative response. It’s still that way in adulthood. We just need to learn how to respond to it and realize it doesn’t make our core person bad.

I’m not talking about unlawful activities. I’m talking about spilling the gallon of milk in your mothers brand new kitchen, getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant in high school or even manipulating a partner or friend in situations to get what you want. Those don’t warrant a lifetime of thinking you don’t deserve good.

You look back at choices you have made, or even choices laid upon you. You investigate how they affected you, how they affect you now. Did you grow from those experiences? Did you adjust your life as you watched yourself grueling over the past? Doing things in the past do not make you undeserving. You cannot change how you were treated or treated someone, but you can grasp faith in yourself and see that as a good person now…You deserve every bit of joy and happiness the world offers.