Theres not always joy
There Isn't Always Joy
In the last year or so I’ve talked a lot about joy. Incorporating joy and living a joyous life became my mantra. It’s a very important thing for me. I’ve talked a great deal about how my life has changed with my health. It is a difficult thing to deal with on a daily basis and I refuse to let this shit define me. So, yes I choose joy.
There is never joy in every moment for anyone. I think everyone knows that. I’ve been asked how I can be so happy and joyous all the time. I’m not. I choose to be joyous. Sometimes even for me choosing joy is a minute by minute, hour by hour or day by day thing. Sometimes I don’t want to choose joy. I just want to give in and be sad. I’m human and I do have my times where I just need to cry and vent. I just have to pay attention to where I am allowing my sadness to take me. A good cry is very cathartic. For me it’s a release that will take a lot of weight off me.
There are times where I feel weighed down by choices or lack of choices. I have a tendency to ask “Why?” I am the kind of person since my accident and illness that understanding things is very hard. There are many things I forget or can’t figure out on my own. I find that asking “why” has become my source of input for things that my brain can’t input. It is also a part of my inquisitiveness. I’ve always been a very curious person and love to learn what I can. It gives me a sense of connection.
Those times that there is no obvious “why” for me in a situation is stressful though. If something has pierced into my life that I don’t understand but it’s on the negative spectrum it does weigh on me. Those are the days that I need to complete a re-center. I need to get my balance back in my soul and emotions. My re-centering typically involves releasing fears, hurt or misunderstandings. Knowing my path that I am on is an amazing driving factor to help me while I am on my pause.
One thing I say often is “Five minutes at a time”. I had a physician tell me that once and I’ve held on to that all of my adult life. It is a saying I share at the end of my streams. It’s an important message. A very important message to keep you on the path of your journey. If you are having a moment that has caused you pause, lack of joy or simply sadness, I get it. To myself, I say “Five minutes at a time and you’ve made it five, which gives you five more minutes to continue to work on it.” If I am honoring my pain five minutes at a time it lessens the feeling of “it will never stop.”
There is still a journey for me to stay on the path for joy. Working through that pain or lack of joy knowing I need back on my path does help give me peace. It is difficult but I won’t let my own negativity affect my positivity. So, yes I choose joy.