Whirlybrain

Are our souls disabled too?

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Can We Have Disabled Souls?

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” — Helen Keller

When I talk of my disability I talk about how it affects my entire being.  It’s not just a singular pain/problem.  It’s not even that it’s a multitude of things.  It’s the way all of those “things” interact.  When I write down 15 things on a piece of paper and crumple the paper into a wad, those 15 things suddenly overlap.  I no longer have 15 singular things.  I have a mass of winding, overlapping issues that now look different.  The only constant in all of those 15 things is me.  How I handle those things depends on my inner person, or what I call …. my soul.

I am/we are all based on one core in ourselves.  Most of the time we never find that core.  We don’t know what we are looking for or what to look for.  But If everything I listed gets intertwined and adds to my disability, is my soul disabled too?  When I discuss my soul I consider it my truth.  Everything in life has layers upon layers of itself built up on us even when we don’t know it is happening.  We add layers on ourselves daily without knowing it.  I see those little layers like fish scales.  They are just bulilding up, layering over each other, covering each little spot.  These layers come from life experiences, others input, things we tell ourselves, even little white lies. Many things turn into scales that cover our souls.  They help build us up and make us who we are.

If I were to take a little truth serum that made all those scales fall away ~ That is who my soul is.  My real self.  You’ve heard tale of somebody being “an old soul.”  That is a core being [person]  who has been through a life cycle before.  WOAH WHAT?  I just blew your mind with some hocus magic….   Many people believe their soul is on the earth with this body and once this body passes it’s done.  Others believe that it will come back with a group of others during a calling.  I believe our souls are destined for more.  I think our core soul is here to learn lessons.  We come back again each life continuing on to the next lesson.  Some people need to learn humility, others strength.  Once their soul completes that lesson they come back in the next life to learn what is left.  I believe our souls travel with others.  Have you ever felt like you’ve known someone “forever” when you just met them and you remain friends for the remainder of your lives?  Maybe you worked in an old rock mine together once.  Maybe you get to meet again in the next life.

Our souls are not bound by any physical world so they can not be disabled.  If something bars my soul from learning what it originally came to learn, it can adjust and learn something completely different.  Souls have an infinite number of things to learn before they are complete.  Not being able to walk or even think clearly can’t take away the souls search for opportunity of growth. I wish for everyone to discover what their soul is here to learn.  I believe one of the things I am here to learn is patience. Discovering it is maybe one of the needs my soul has, I spend time literally working on being a more patient person. Some days it’s easier than others. Some days I just let my soul do it’s own damn work

Being physically disabled and cognitively impaired isn’t stopping my soul. Knowing that it’s not caught in that list of 15 things crumpled in that paper gives me a back a feeling of power.  The power to use her [my soul] to stay centered and take life one thing on that list at a time or even just 5 minutes at a time.  

*For the purpose of this post the word “soul” is not based or related to any religious sect or being.

 

Facing negativity

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Facing Negativity..

I believe in being a positive person.  When something happens in my life that causes me confusion and delay,  It may cause me pain in my heart and I may even cry.  When I cry about something negative that has happened it is typically from deep in my soul.  I have to understand why this has happened.  The soft person in me wants to desperately figure out how I could have fixed it or why I caused it.  Once the initial pain and hurt is gone I go inside and try to logically understand the situation.  I examine the situation from all sides.  If I can not find the answers, I have no choice but to face it with a positive angle.

I have to say that even 10 years ago I may have caused someone else pain.  I had a situation where I was being verbally attacked by a best friend.  What she was saying made no logical sense to me.  I turned and was ready to embark on a mutual engagement when I saw her face.  It wasn’t a face of pain or hurt.  It wasn’t a face of confusion and a need to reconcile.  It was a face I’d seen before…In myself.  Suddenly I realized my life needed to change.

We are put on this earth to grow our spirit until it’s next turn to continue to grow in the next area that needs repair.  My spirit stepped out of me that day.  I looked back at myself and I realized as tough and strong as I wanted to be, she told me that is not who I truly was.  I had been reacting to the life I was living up to this point.  My life as a child, My life in my parents home, my life choices and I had to treat my soul with the respect she begged for.

You can live in the past or you can grow.  You can choose to be that person who covers your fears with threats or the person who your true heart aches to be.  When facing the negativity in life offer grace to one another ~ not pain.

How do you stay positive in the middle of a storm?

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How do you stay positive in the middle of the storm?

There are so many storms we face in life.  Those include several thing such as personal growth into adulthood,  health, love, jobs, family and finances.  Sometimes we live in perfect harmony with the way the wind are blowing in those storms.  Sometimes there is a a strong sandstorm happening in our brains because the external world around us has taken control and we have no choices.

I’d like to think that everyone could be like a dandelion seed and just float on a breeze in that storm.  Landing and taking bloom in the summer sun.  Basking up the glory of sun and allow those rains help us grow.  It’s unfortunate that some of those seeds mutate, land in an area where it’s not wanted and is killed or not even allowed to take off at all.  When those seeds do bloom some are admired for their beauty, some are admired for their tenacity to make it but some are simply too tired to turn their glowing flower upward to be seen by those walking by.

There are beautiful flowers who have grown tired from pain, emotions or lack of understanding.  They settle themselves deep in the growing grass and become even more buried in pain and emotion.  I am one of those flowers right now.  I’m tired and emotionally drained from the last two years of pain, physician misdirection.  I have been researching every angle I can find that may help in some way.

I have amazing friends and family.  I had an amazing example in my father.  Before he passed his signature saying was “Beth Ann, it all works out in the end.”  He’s right and I know that.  No matter how it ends  it will end how it is supposed to.  I won’t let it end without my free will working hard to unbury myself.  There is always someone who has it worse than me.  Always.  I think of those souls and I know that while my situation is bad, the love in my heart worries for them.

I wait for the lawn to be mowed so my beautiful dandelion can feel the sun.  Each time it happens I will work hard to lift my stem and turn my face toward the sun.  I know it’s my duty to grow this beauty so I may send out wonderful seeds to the rest of the earth.  To face all of the storms with positivity even if I get overgrown by the grass on occasions.  Those rains will nourish me.